Saturday, October 31, 2009

Movies that could be pornographic titles without changing the name.

Anyone who has accidentaly wandered into the adult section of their local videostore while looking for a copy of Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch will have noticed the tendency for pornographic films to change the name of existing movies into more risque titles. Romancing the Stone is perverted into Romancing the Bone. The timeless coming of age story A River Runs Through It becomes A Wanger Runs Through It. I'll leave you to guess the twisted inspiration behind Edward Penishands, White Men Can Hump, Come with the Wind, and Schindler's List of Woman He'd Boned Who Were Totally Ones... Anyway, it occured to me that there are several films that you wouldn't even need to change the title to make them into pornographic films. And since my girlfriend isn't awake yet to be disturbed by my cleverness, it's list time!

Deep Impact
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
The Private Life of Henry VIII
Ed Wood
Bound for Glory
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner
Rick Steves' Europe Through the Backdoor
Fire Down Below
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Free Willy
The Bone Collector
Mary Poppins
Beauty and the Beast
Rambo: First Blood
The Last Temptation of Christ

Wow, now that I think about it, that's a lot of Van Damme movies that could also be pornos. They'd probably all involve him getting into menage a trois with his twin. But that's a post for another day.

Double Impact
Double Team
Desert Heat (the UK title of the mediocre Inferno)
Knock Off
Hard Target

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Who's watching?

Ahhh, a nice Sunday evening. Think I'll just sit down on the couch, try to finish off this Elmore Leonard novel. Hey, where did I put my book? I could swear I put it down right here. Somebody must have mov...

Oh shit! It's the money I saved with Geico. Four dollars and ten cents. Watching me. And presumably hiding LaBrava. Good one, money, you really got me this time.